In the world of dating, there are several subjects that are often considered taboo or too personal to discuss when entering into a new, intimate relationship. STDs, both current and previous, are one of these things. However, if you have had an STD in the past that has left behind side effects, or you have a lifelong STD like HIV, HPV, or Herpes, it’s important to disclose these conditions with any current or future sexual partners.
The conversation may seem like a tricky one, but don’t worry! Here at Broadgate GP, we are a reputable private GP who provide a range of sexual health services, including STD testing for our patients in London. We have come together to create this handy guide full of tips for approaching this delicate conversation.
What is an STD?
A sexually transmitted disease (STD) is a disease that is spread from person to person during sex, sexual activity, or close contact. If left untreated, these diseases can cause serious health complications for both you and your partner. Some STDs don’t display symptoms, with many people feeling perfectly fine and not showing a lot of the symptoms that are frequently highlighted by medical boards or the NHS. This is why it is recommended that those who are sexually active, or have been in the past, undergo regular STD testing.
Why Tell Your Partner About an STD?
There are many reasons why your sexual partners need to be made aware of STDs or STD histories as their health is put at risk when exposed to one of these viruses and it gives them the opportunity to seek treatment before further complications arise. Some of the health problems STDs can cause include:
- Infertility or problems with pregnancy planning
- Increased cervical cancer risk (HPV)
- Painful outbreaks or reactions (Herpes)
- Decreased autoimmune efficiency (HIV)
The conversation around disclosing an STD can feel embarrassing or even invasive, but it’s essential that any and all sexual partners are made aware of both previous STDs or any lifelong ones you may have.
Talking to a New Partner
If you have an STD, it’s perfectly natural to be nervous or on overwhelmed at the thought of disclosing such a personal problem, however there are steps you can take to allow you to ease into such conversations, including:
Role Reversal
If the roles were reversed, you would want to know about your partner’s sexual history and any current STDs they may have, wouldn’t you? What would you want them to say and how would you want them to approach you about this subject? Putting yourself in their shoes allows for better understanding of the situation and opens the door for a conversation while giving them the choice to not partake in any activity that could expose them to an STD.
Honest and Direct
Being open, honest, and direct about your STD is the best way to approach this subject as there is less chance of miscommunication or confusion. You can start the conversation with something as simple as “Before we have sex, you need to know that I have an STD and we need to use protection.” Whether or not your partner chooses to continue sexual activity beyond this point it up to them, but disclosing your condition and providing information on it can allow them to feel more comfortable.
Avoid Pushing
People react to news in different ways and we can’t tell you exactly how your partner will take on board the information you share with them. Its important to avoid pushing them on decisions regarding relationships or sexual activities and allow them to digest the knowledge they have at their own pace. Allow them time and don’t feel worried if your partner takes this time.
Encourage Questions
New partners may be more open to further discussion of the topic if you are open to receiving and answering questions. There is a lot of misinformation surrounding STDs, their side effects, and long term effects, so being up to date on your own knowledge about your condition is essential to help put your partner at ease.
Talking to a Current Partner
Whether you have contracted an STD during a relationship, either through infidelity or simply having an open relationship with your partner, the discussion can be even more complicated. Fear of judgement or of the relationship coming to an end can be off-putting, however it’s important for the health of your partner to be honest. If possible, avoid arguments or raised voices and simply make them aware of your condition without worrying about potential consequences.
Get in touch with Broadgate GP for more information!
If you would like to know more about how to approach your partner about an STD, get in touch with our team today for help and guidance from our expert team. Our friendly and professional team is only a phone call away and can’t wait to hear from you!
Want to know more about STDs or their side effects, check out our blog! It’s packed full of information, including The Impact of STDs on Women, STI Testing: How Long to Wait, and Symptoms of An Oral STD.
