When it comes to talking to your children about the birds and the bees, it often feels awkward. The idea of your child growing up and exploring their sexuality, entering first time relationships, and experimenting can be uncomfortable, however, it’s the natural next step to growing up.
Here at Broadgate GP, we understand the importance of talking to your children about sex and relationships and how the advice you offer them can shape the way they view themselves, their prospective partners, and how they think about sex. Some of the important things to discuss include the importance of safe sex, sexual health, the different types of contraception, and choosing the right partner.
As for you, it’s essential that you tolerate the awkwardness and send the message that you are there for them and will be on hand to provide answers and advice around sex and consent.
Relationships and Consent
Being young and surrounded by peers who are going through puberty and having their first sexual encounters can create a pressure to keep up with their friends. In their rush, the lines of consent and communication can become blurry. It’s important that your child understands consent and relationships not only when it comes to their classmates, but to also keep them safe from adults and grooming behaviours. Some of the ways to outline consent include:
Saying No
Your child should understand that saying no is always an option, whether it’s before or during a sexual interaction. They can say no to certain activities and as soon as one person says no, all sexual activity should stop.
Under Pressure
Once one person has said no to sex or sexual activity, everything should stop either indefinitely or until that person is ready to resume or if they want to stop completely. Their partner should not be manipulating or putting pressure on their partner to start or resume sex, though it’s a common occurrence. This is for a variety of reasons, including not fully understanding that this is manipulative and wrong. Making sure your child understands this means they are less likely to be manipulated or put pressure on a partner.
Age Of Consent
In both heterosexual and homosexual relationships, the legal age of consent in the UK is 16. For example, this means that a 14 year old cannot lawfully engage in sexual activity with their 16 year old partner, this would be classed as statutory rape as one or both persons are below the age of consent. Additionally, anyone under the age of 13 is not legally capable of consenting to sex or sexual activity. It can be confusing, but this law is designed to protect children and young people and the government typically won’t be used to prosecute 13-15 year olds who are of a similar age and consensually engaging in sexual activity.
Finding the Right Partner
Whether it’s a heterosexual or lgbtq+ relationship, there are many reasons to make sure your child chooses the right partner. Online dating is a popular method even for teenagers and understanding how to stay safe online is essential.
Then comes the common problems surrounding young people’s relationships, including trust issues, jealousy, and abusive partners. Explaining the importance of finding a partner that is caring and can be trusted is vital to keeping teenagers and young people safe during these early relationships.
Parental Support
As uncomfortable as the idea may make you as a parent or guardian feel, it’s important for your child to have someone to confide in who is older and more experienced. This is where you step in. You should make sure your child knows they can come to you for advice, guidance, and support, no matter what. Having a stable support system to discuss sex, relationships, and consent is vital to ensuring your child’s safety and making sure they understand the difference between consensual sex, and non-consensual sex.
Safe Sex and Contraception
Contraception is used to prevent unwanted pregnancies and the spreading of sexually transmitted infections (STI’s). While the age of consent in the United Kingdom is 16, there are many forms of contraception available to those under that age. It is not an offence for medical practitioners to provide advice and contraception for persons under the age of 16, so if you believe your child is engaging in sexual activity, it’s important that they understand the risks and preventative measures they can take.
Common STIs
The most common STIs in the UK include genital warts, chlamydia, genital herpes, and syphilis which all have different side effects and symptoms. Your child should be aware of how to identify an STI so they can seek treatment as soon as possible.
Genital Warts look like whitish or skin-coloured bumps that appear on your penis, scrotum, vagina, anus, and cervix. They can come in different sizes and range from single warts to clusters. There are a few different ways to remove the warts, including chemicals, cream, freezing them, burning them, and cutting them off.
Chlamydia can be completely symptomless, but if any were to present, they’d include pain or burning while urinating, lower abdominal pain, abnormal vaginal discharge, a milky discharge from the penis, and swollen or painful testicles. Chlamydia is treated with a course of antibiotics.
Genital Herpes can be identified by a group of itchy and painful blisters forming on the vagina, penis, scrotum, anus, and cervix. If they are triggered by the HSV-2 strain, flu-like symptoms may also be experienced. There is no cure for genital herpes but symptoms can be eased with home remedies and medication.
Syphilis is another sneaky infection that can be hard to notice as symptoms come and go over time and in stages. The symptoms include syphilis spores (chancres) that show up on the vagina, penis, anus, and cervix, and rashes on your hands, feet, and other parts of your body. If not identified early, syphilis can lead to tumours, blindness, and paralysis. It can be treated early with antibiotics.
Different Types of Contraception
There are many forms of contraception available to lower the risk of an unwanted pregnancy, but fewer options are available to prevent the spread of STIs. Some popular methods of contraception include condoms, contraceptive pills, implants, injections, and IUD and IUS devices. Each method has its own advantages and disadvantages, such as:
Male/External Condoms are placed on the penis and protect against pregnancy and STIs. They only need to be applied before sex, they’re easily available, and they can be combined with other contraceptives for extra protection. There are risks of them splitting or slipping off and some people may be allergic to latex, though latex-free options are available.
Female/Internal Condoms are inserted into the vagina to protect against pregnancy and STIs and have no side effects unlike hormonal options available to women. They can be pushed further into the vagina if not used properly and users need to ensure that a penis goes into the condom and not between the vagina and condom.
Contraceptive Implants are a thin rod inserted into the arm that releases hormones for up to three years to be 99% effective against unwanted pregnancies. They don’t interrupt sex and fertility will return to normal once it is removed. A contraceptive implant will not protect against STIs but can be used alongside condoms.
The Combined Pill works by preventing the release of eggs from the ovaries and makes the lining of the uterus thinner so a fertilised egg can’t implant. It is over 99% effective if taken correctly but it must be taken daily and certain medications can make the combined pill less effective.
Emergency Contraception is to be used after unprotected sex or in case usual protection fails to prevent unwanted pregnancy. The morning after pill can be taken up to 5 days after unprotected sex and the intrauterine device (IUD) can be fitted within 5 days by a trained doctor or nurse to prevent an egg from implanting in the uterus lining.
There are many forms of contraception available on the NHS and through private clinics. It’s important to discuss the different types of contraception with your child, along with the benefits and disadvantages of each kind to make sure they are properly informed about what is available to them.
For Further Sexual Health Advice and Information Call Broadgate GP
If you’re getting ready to sit down with your child and begin that all important talk, our private GPs at Broadgate GP, are here to help! Our team can offer advice and guidance on how to approach this subject, as well as providing STI testing, contraception, and information about safe sex practices for your child. Please waste no time and be sure to call our team today.
